March 11, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
Nancy, the two-faced (literally), lying, tax-dollar-funded-booze-drinking, hypocritical, left-wing-extremist, Pelosi is a scum-bag and should be kicked out of the House of Representatives for being out-of-touch, certifiable, and straitjacket-worthy! When Aunt Nance became Speaker of the House she promised she’d “restore accountability and transparency” in government and has continually touted the “idear” (as ‘Sir Genghis Khan Kerry’ would say) that she currently runs one of the “most transparent House of Representatives in history.”
Hmm. . . Is that what you call it, ‘Aunt Wack-Face?’ During a recent conference of legislators, Speaker Pelosi said the following in regards to the health care reform bill: “Congress has to pass the bill so you can find out what’s in it, away from the fog of controversy.” Oh really? Tell you what ‘Aunt Botox,’ if that’s the case, why don’t you also go ahead and buy this car from me for $2.5 trillion samolians? After it’s purchased I’ll let you look inside it, pop up the hood, and take it for a test drive . . . but not before you’ve purchased it!
You can’t full us, ‘Madam Fake Face!’ When you say “transparent” it actually means it’s about as clear as a dirty ol’ cow-pie! Get a freaking clue! You’re out of your demented dome and your bill smells like a fresh cow-turd! Nance, Do your country the best honor you possibly could and resign today!
Categories: Daily Zings | 
Tags: Government corruption, Health Care Reform lack of transparency, Lack of transparency in politics, Madam Pelosi is a liar, Miss Pelosi and transparency, Nancy Pelosi transparency, Speaker Nancy Pelosi and corruption, Speaker Pelosi is not transparent, White House transparency | 
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March 10, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
You might be a liberal politician if…
Whilst in a public shower you poke other naked people in their chest with your finger and threaten them.
You ignore the majority of the American people who are against universal healthcare and try to shove it down their grubby little faces anyway.
You try to change the constitution to fit your agenda of socialized medicine.
You’re a woman and have a shrill voice. Don’t believe me? Example 1 and 2 (skip to 1:07 and then 1:30)
You pay off other senators to buy their vote for your bill.
You wear tweed or corduroy.
Your ideologies are walking contradictions.
You are for something and then against it and then for it again.
Your political heroes are mass murdering dictators who piss on human rights.
You say things like pah-ki-stahn, koh-puhn-hah-guhn
You’re accused of a sex scandal by your own party coincidently at the same time they are trying to pass a bill that you don’t support and will not vote for.
And lastly…
You might be a liberal politician if… you suck.
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: democrat, eleanor clift, eric massa, Health Care, Hillary Clinton, Liberal, politician, rahm emanuel, socialized, univeral | No Comments »
March 9, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
Democratic Congressman Eric “Creepy” Massa (D) of N.Y. actually e-mailed the TDZ crew and submitted this amazingly zingful story! Mr. Massa really went for it and he didn’t hold back any punches, so Mr. Massa we will run your zing. Due to this zing you created, you may receive a lot more than a dead fish on your door step. Rahmbo might put a stallion’s severed head in your bed! So with no further adieu, Mr. Massa’s zing.
“Let me tell you a story about Rahm Emanuel, I was a congressman in my first eight weeks, and I was in the congressional gym, and I went down and I worked out and I went into the showers…I’m sitting there showering, naked as a jaybird and here comes Rahm Emanuel not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me because I wasn’t going to vote for the president’s budget. Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man? By the way, what the heck is he doing in the Congressional gym, He goes there to intimidate members of Congress…He’s hated me since day one, and now he wins. Rahm Emanuel is son of the devil’s spawn! He is an individual who would sell his mother to get a vote. He would strap his children to the front end of a steam locomotive.” (Rep. Eric Massa D-NY)
Prison showers?
P.S. Democratic Congressman Eric “Creepy” Massa resigned amid ethics violations accusing him of man on man sexual harassment! Massa’s aide claims, and I quote, “Mr. Massa told me, he should be trying to f@#k me. Then Massa tussled my hair.” The TDZ is very confused with the Democrats homoerotic tactics of zinging one another and themselves! But it is very amusing and we really hope they keep it up.
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: Congressman Eric Massa, Massa and Rahm Emanuel in the shower, Massa rant, Massa sexual harassment, political humor, Political Satire, rahm emanuel | No Comments »
March 8, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
Did you all know that Mark McGwire had a brother in the cable news business? Click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nObPplOGUdI Wow! Apparently, Mark and Dylan have the same “Nutritionist” too. . . The only difference is Mark used the needle-in-the-butt nutrition to go yard on the ball field, while his brother, Dylan ‘Roid-Rage’ Ratigan, uses it to go berserk in the news room. Hey Dylan, ease up on the “needle therapy,” you roid-monkey!!
My favorite part of Dylan’s rant was this: “You’re wasting valuable oxygen. Can we please cut off this man’s microphone? He has no interest in answering any of my questions. Mark, a pleasure – actually not really a pleasure. It was offensive. You’re offensive. Your treatment of my show as a vehicle to spread your propaganda, ignore my questions, offensive. And an indication of what is wrong with the dialogue in this country, period. ..”
Haha! Dylan, you sounded like a spoiled little school-boy brat crying about whom gets first player on Mario Kart. . . Dylan, the only indication we got from this is that your opinion of “dialogue in this country” is hypocritical and wack, and that you’re just a little huffy-puffy, school-boy, roid-ragin,’ freak! Easy on the ‘needle therapy,’ bud!!
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: conservatives, Dylan Ratigan, Humor, liberals, political humor, Politics, republicans, steroids, tea party, Tea Party Express, white house, Wing nuts | No Comments »
March 5, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
It is painful to peer upon Rangel.
Even shameful to gaze upon his hair dangle.
The famous politician side part is not newfangled,
but since its birth, quite disdainful .
From this side view it curls towards the sky angle.
Please don’t touch, and be careful not to mangle,
for it is a nightmare to comb and untangle.
Do not mock or he will pounce upon thee like a big tiger bangle.
Dare not to accuse him of tax evasion, or he shall find thee and strangle.
The poem is over for I can’t find more words to rope nor to wrangle.
Categories: Creations and Comb-Overs | Tags: carribean, Charlie Rangel, comb, combover, house in carribean, house ways and means, over, side part, tax cheat, tax evasion, tax fraud, ways and means | No Comments »
