The Hard Ball Hair Blow

“I’d like Chrissy Matthews, host of Wiffle ball, right here tonight. I want him brought from his nutty ‘MSLSD’ studio over there on Elitist Lane, with all the other loony Libs, and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his wind blown comb-over dome.  And, I want to look him straight in the eyes and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor-flushing, creepy, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*ss, bug-eyed, tingle-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey sh*t he is!  Hallelujah! Holly Sh*t!  Where’s the Tylenol?” — National Lampoon’s Washington D.C. Vacation.