February 12, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
“I’d like
Chrissy Matthews, host of Wiffle ball, right here tonight. I want him brought from his nutty ‘MSLSD’ studio over there on Elitist Lane, with all the other loony Libs, and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his wind blown comb-over dome. And, I want to look him straight in the eyes and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor-flushing,
creepy, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred,
overstuffed,
ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*ss, bug-eyed,
tingle-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey sh*t he is! Hallelujah! Holly Sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?” — National Lampoon’s Washington D.C. Vacation.
Categories: Creations and Comb-Overs | 
Tags: chris matthews, comb-over, creation, Elitist, fox news, hair piece, Hard Ball, msnbc, obama, Political Satire, politician comb-overs, Politics, tea party, The Daily Zing | 
1 Comment »
February 9, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
For the everyday Americans watching the main stream news, they must think the “Tea Party Movement” is some type of unsolved algorithm that could rid the universe of cancer. Every single day one hears news anchors asking- “who is behind the ‘Tea Party Movement?’” Is there any basis to these “primarily white, middle class, ultra right and confused Americans?” Are these just “well heeled scoundrels and demagogues being strenuously advertised by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News?” “Who is at the head of the Tea Party Movement and does their message have any traction?” Well, you elitist, out-of-touch, goons in the media, allow me to assist you! (This advice also goes for you creepy leftist bloggers sitting in your underpants in your parent’s dark basement with your little Macintosh Notebook on your lap as you look up scholarly words for your next blog post!) The fact that you don’t understand the “Tea Party Movement” is precisely why your ratings blow!! You’re out of touch with the everyday Americans. Americans that are sick and tired of elitist punks in Washington believing their prestigious Ivy League diploma provides them with a ticket to tell the rest of us how we should, or should not, live our lives. The “Tea Party Movement” is simple. We want 5 things: less government control and entitlement programs, lower taxes, no rewarding “too big to fail” corporations with so called “bail-outs,” honesty from our elected officials, and fiscal discipline…you know, spending less than you actually make! Oh my goodness! Get out of here! That’s what the “Tea Party Movement” wants? What a bunch of white, redneck and ignorant racists! They want honesty, accountability, and fiscal discipline? What a bunch of right wing conspiracy theorist demagogues!! No, you elitist idiots, it’s just called the everyday beliefs of everyday Americans….or as you prefer… “Teabaggers.” Nice try though, you creepy basement bloggers and main stream media elites! Looks like you solved this “Tea Party Algorithm” about as well as that latest multi-level marketing algorithm predicted the stock market crash of 2008. Next up tonight- What’s behind the Scott Brown surprise victory…….
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: Americans, fox news, funny politics, Main Stream Media, middle class, obama, Political Satire, Politics, redneck, rupert murdoch, Tea Party Movement, teabaggers, The Daily Zing, Washington D.C., white house, zing | 4 Comments »
February 3, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
Fox News viewers are a bunch of “tin foil hatters, conspiracy theorists, paranoids and racists.” –Keith, The Stain, Olbermann. “It’s really not news – it’s pushing a point of view. And the bigger thing is that other news organizations...ought not to treat them that way, and we’re not going to treat them that way…” –White House Advisor David ‘Leather & Spice’ Axelrod. “Fox is not a news organization so much as it has a perspective…” --Rham, The Ballerina, Emmanuel. “Fox is not a traditional news organization...we don’t feel an obligation to treat them like a CNN or ABC or NBC…” --White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer
Well, Obama worshipping, liberal, butt-boys...time to get a royal facial!
According to a recent Public Policy Poll, 49 percent of Americans said they trust Fox News Channel over any other news organization…including CNN, MSNBC, HLN, ABC, NBC, and CBS. In fact, Fox was the only national NEWS ORGANIZATION that more people trusted than distrusted… Hey, ‘Sir Leather & Spice,’ can you say- “facial!?”
Oh, what’s that…you want a little cheese with that whine? Sorry, ‘Dancin’ Dead-fish Emmanuel,’ how about a little salt on your open wound instead!
During the coverage of the Haiti earthquake Fox averaged over 1.5 million viewers compared to less than 500,000 at MSNBC. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/15/fox-news-wins-haiti-ratin_n_425422.html
During the night of the Scott Brown election Fox’s “Hannity” had over 6 million viewers…that’s almost double CNN, MSNBC, and HLN, COMBINED. Ought oh, did someone just ‘Keith their pants?' http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/21/fox-news-ratings-explode_n_431478.html
During the ‘State of the All Talk and No Walk’…I mean, The State of the Union, Fox doubled the ratings of CNN and MSNBC, COMBINED. http://www.mediaite.com/tv/fox-news-dominates-state-of-the-union-cable-news-ratings/
Moral to the story, the person, or organization, that seems to be “out of touch” isn’t Fox News, but rather the White House Administration and its cheerleaders in the mainstream news! PS- You want a little cherry on top? Fox News Channel has had 13 of the top 15 most viewed Cable News Programs in the last 5 months!
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: ABC, CBS, cnn, david axelrod, FNC ratings, Fox, fox news, Fox News ratings, funny politics, Hannity, HLN, keith olbermann, liberals, msnbc, NBC, obama, Olberstain, political humor, Political Satire, Rham Emanuel, sean hannity, The Daily Zing, white house, zing | 1 Comment »
December 11, 2009 | Posted by TDZ
We know that all of you wake up Friday morning and scurry down your stairs to view our Friday comb-over or creation zing. This week we are breaking from this schedule due to an “Emergency Nugget Interruption.” However, the extreme nuggets we are going to zing do happen to have a comb-over and a creation. Coincidence? I think not! Dick (we couldn’t agree more) Wolf, or his real name, Richard Anthony, is the creator of “Law and Order,” but more importantly, he is a moron. Recently, on “Law and Order” they covered a case where a man went on a killing spree of immigrant children. Guess what the show tried to blame for this man’s killing spree. Mental problems? A terrible childhood? Liberals? Keith Olbermann? Negative folks! They tried to pin it on Rush Limbaugh, O’Reilly and Beck. Well Dick, you are a very small, flaccid man and you don’t have the cojones to appear on any of their shows to discuss your ranting lunacy. Your hair sucks and so does your show! Your ratings are down, so I guess it’s the old “let’s say ridiculous things and hope to get some more ratings bit.” You, Unckie Harry Reid and Alan Dis-Grayson are running the same wack play out of the same wack book. Now on to Richard “Butt-Face” Belzer, who plays a small role on “Law and Order.” A few years ago this genius said the military is full of “uneducated people” who “couldn’t get jobs anywhere else.” Well, I guess the old saying is true, idiots do stick together. Fear not though, Belzer got his. Check out this clip of him getting choked out by Hulk Hogan. It’s 10 minutes long and worth every minute! Hogan and Mr. T zing Belzar really good, and then gave him the ultimate zing- a choke out (he really does get choked out). It’s classic! I watched it 70 times last night and it was the best Thursday evening I’ve had in ages. The highlights are 3:20-3:30, 4:26-4:36, 5:52-6:30, but you really have to watch the entire thing to fully appreciate it. P.S. Richard Belzar, how come you never told anybody that you had a twin by the name of Bea Arthur?
Categories: Creations and Comb-Overs | Tags: bea arthur, bil o'reilly, choke hold, Dick wolf, fox news, glenn beck, Hulk Hogan, law & order, law and order, Mr. T, pass out, richard belzar, rush limbaugh, sean hannity | 2 Comments »
October 29, 2009 | Posted by admin
This “Sportscaster ” turned “Political Commentator” is a certified wacko! Olbermann has so many ludicrous statements that I couldn’t get through 10% of them in a 40 hour work week! It’s like every time he opens his mouth something malicious, repugnant or putrid is uttered! It must be due to his mild case of “celiac disease,” which causes chronic diarrhea… of the mouth! (Olby really suffers from this. Wiki-it) Olby’s endless amount of Hershey squirts must be backing up and exploding out his mouth! Here is an example of just one of his most rancid and rank comments: “Al Qaeda really hurt us, but not as much as Rupert Murdoch has hurt us, particularly in the case of Fox News. Fox News is worse than Al Qaeda —worse for our society. It’s as dangerous as the Ku Klux Klan ever was.” Am I in the “Twilight Zone?” That comment alone should be a career ender. Luckily for Olbermann, he has perfected the suckling of the chain of command ‘teet’ of the left winged MSNBC! How could any logical person make such a statement? ”Fox News is worse than Al Qaeda.” Al Qaeda attacked us on 9/11 and murdered 2,752 Americans! Many dreams and lives were shattered in a matter of minutes on that horrific day. And this sub-human Uberstain loser uses this, one of the most terrible days in American history, to further his pathetic agenda of liberal lunacy!? Mr. Olbermann, you are the “Worst Person in the World.” Moron!!
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: al qaeda, fox news, keith olbermann, msnbc, rupert murdoch, rush limbaugh, sean hannity | 7 Comments »
