February 26, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
The old saying- “God made some guys perfect, and the rest he gave hair” statement sure as Hell doesn’t make sense when you’re talking about ‘not so Harry Knox’ (a member of Obama’s faith-based advisory council). This creepy little shiny domed, extra terrestrial, freak must have lost his brains with his hair. Harry claims that the Pope is “hurting people in the name of Jesus” because he doesn’t support the use of condoms as a successful means to reducing the spread of HIV in Africa… Hey Harry, your new nickname is ‘Airy Harry’ because you’re freakin’ brainless! All you’ve got is air in that bald, E.T. looking, dome of yours! Get a clue, ya goon! Of course the Pope is against condoms as a method of preventing HIV in Africa; however, he’s surely for a method that would actually rid Africa of HIV for good. It’s called abstinence, dork-face! Furthermore, the TDZ has also come up with a cure for HIV in Africa…it’s called the ‘Scary Airy Harry Method’ and all it consists of is that all men carry around a 3×5 photo in their back pocket of the extra terrestrial, ‘Airy Harry.’ Anytime they’re approached for a little ‘luvin’,’ they just flash that card at the person and they’ll be safe forever!! President Obama, “phone home,” denounce religious bigotry, and fire this anti-catholic, extra terrestrial!!
Categories: Creations and Comb-Overs | 
Tags: bigot, Catholic, funny politics, Harry Knox, left wing, Liberal, obama, Obama's faith based advisory council, Pope, right wing, satire, white house | 
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February 11, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
When political life is tough and you can’t seem to convince your constituents to vote for you, why not just buy their vote? That’s what the Lib’s have up their sleeves! The Mercatus Center at George Mason University has recently revealed where your $787 billion “stimulus” tax-dollars have been aimed, and based upon their results, they may as well have been aimed for the toilet! The Obama Administration’s whole promise that unemployment would not exceed 8% if the stimulus bill was passed didn’t seem to work out too well. Of the $787 billion, thus far just over $157 billion has been awarded. And guess which political districts got most of that ‘cash-money?’ How’d you know? The Democrats! The Mercatus Center reports that of the $157 billion that’s been awarded, 73% of that money has been funneled into Democratic districts…and only 27% into Republican districts. The average dollar amount awarded per Democratic district is almost double that of the amount awarded per Republican district. The average Democratic district has received $439,200,100…while the average Republican district only received $232,047,857. Imagine that! Look out GOP, the Lib’s have hoarded over half a trillion dollars of that so-called “stimulus money,” and they intend to spit that out this election year on their constituents as fast and uncontrollably as Rham Emanuel spits out expletives! So next time you’re in a pickle and can’t seem to win-over your critics’ support…forget about it! Do it the ‘Obama-Rham-Chi-town way,’ and just buy their support!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrLEqw0q5hg
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: bail-out, democrat, funny politics, GOP, liberals, Mercatus Center at George Mason, Politics, republican, Rham Emanuel, Stimulus, TARP, The Daily Zing, Trillion Dollars, white house | No Comments »
February 9, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
For the everyday Americans watching the main stream news, they must think the “Tea Party Movement” is some type of unsolved algorithm that could rid the universe of cancer. Every single day one hears news anchors asking- “who is behind the ‘Tea Party Movement?’” Is there any basis to these “primarily white, middle class, ultra right and confused Americans?” Are these just “well heeled scoundrels and demagogues being strenuously advertised by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News?” “Who is at the head of the Tea Party Movement and does their message have any traction?” Well, you elitist, out-of-touch, goons in the media, allow me to assist you! (This advice also goes for you creepy leftist bloggers sitting in your underpants in your parent’s dark basement with your little Macintosh Notebook on your lap as you look up scholarly words for your next blog post!) The fact that you don’t understand the “Tea Party Movement” is precisely why your ratings blow!! You’re out of touch with the everyday Americans. Americans that are sick and tired of elitist punks in Washington believing their prestigious Ivy League diploma provides them with a ticket to tell the rest of us how we should, or should not, live our lives. The “Tea Party Movement” is simple. We want 5 things: less government control and entitlement programs, lower taxes, no rewarding “too big to fail” corporations with so called “bail-outs,” honesty from our elected officials, and fiscal discipline…you know, spending less than you actually make! Oh my goodness! Get out of here! That’s what the “Tea Party Movement” wants? What a bunch of white, redneck and ignorant racists! They want honesty, accountability, and fiscal discipline? What a bunch of right wing conspiracy theorist demagogues!! No, you elitist idiots, it’s just called the everyday beliefs of everyday Americans….or as you prefer… “Teabaggers.” Nice try though, you creepy basement bloggers and main stream media elites! Looks like you solved this “Tea Party Algorithm” about as well as that latest multi-level marketing algorithm predicted the stock market crash of 2008. Next up tonight- What’s behind the Scott Brown surprise victory…….
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: Americans, fox news, funny politics, Main Stream Media, middle class, obama, Political Satire, Politics, redneck, rupert murdoch, Tea Party Movement, teabaggers, The Daily Zing, Washington D.C., white house, zing | 4 Comments »
February 3, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
Fox News viewers are a bunch of “tin foil hatters, conspiracy theorists, paranoids and racists.” –Keith, The Stain, Olbermann. “It’s really not news – it’s pushing a point of view. And the bigger thing is that other news organizations...ought not to treat them that way, and we’re not going to treat them that way…” –White House Advisor David ‘Leather & Spice’ Axelrod. “Fox is not a news organization so much as it has a perspective…” --Rham, The Ballerina, Emmanuel. “Fox is not a traditional news organization...we don’t feel an obligation to treat them like a CNN or ABC or NBC…” --White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer
Well, Obama worshipping, liberal, butt-boys...time to get a royal facial!
According to a recent Public Policy Poll, 49 percent of Americans said they trust Fox News Channel over any other news organization…including CNN, MSNBC, HLN, ABC, NBC, and CBS. In fact, Fox was the only national NEWS ORGANIZATION that more people trusted than distrusted… Hey, ‘Sir Leather & Spice,’ can you say- “facial!?”
Oh, what’s that…you want a little cheese with that whine? Sorry, ‘Dancin’ Dead-fish Emmanuel,’ how about a little salt on your open wound instead!
During the coverage of the Haiti earthquake Fox averaged over 1.5 million viewers compared to less than 500,000 at MSNBC. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/15/fox-news-wins-haiti-ratin_n_425422.html
During the night of the Scott Brown election Fox’s “Hannity” had over 6 million viewers…that’s almost double CNN, MSNBC, and HLN, COMBINED. Ought oh, did someone just ‘Keith their pants?' http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/21/fox-news-ratings-explode_n_431478.html
During the ‘State of the All Talk and No Walk’…I mean, The State of the Union, Fox doubled the ratings of CNN and MSNBC, COMBINED. http://www.mediaite.com/tv/fox-news-dominates-state-of-the-union-cable-news-ratings/
Moral to the story, the person, or organization, that seems to be “out of touch” isn’t Fox News, but rather the White House Administration and its cheerleaders in the mainstream news! PS- You want a little cherry on top? Fox News Channel has had 13 of the top 15 most viewed Cable News Programs in the last 5 months!
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: ABC, CBS, cnn, david axelrod, FNC ratings, Fox, fox news, Fox News ratings, funny politics, Hannity, HLN, keith olbermann, liberals, msnbc, NBC, obama, Olberstain, political humor, Political Satire, Rham Emanuel, sean hannity, The Daily Zing, white house, zing | 1 Comment »
January 14, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
‘Captain of the Left, Sir Grease Ball Billionaire,’ George Soros, strikes gold…black gold!‘ The leftist ideologue recently struck an $811 million dollar deal with an “evil, rich and big oil” company by the name of Petrobras (a Brazilian state controlled oil company). The intriguing part of this deal lies in the facts…you know, those important details that liberals like to conveniently ignore for their own benefit. You see, ironically, George was towards the top of the recently released visitor’s list at the White House. In addition, somehow this anti-capitalist billionaire hedge fund manager happened to perfectly guess when to invest $811 million dollars into Petrobras, that “big & evil oil company.” “Coincidentally,” George invested his $811 million right before Obama committed $2 Billion in U.S. taxpayer loans to help this “big & evil oil company” drill off-shore in Brazil. Now, isn’t that a coincidence!? You don’t possibly think those regular meetings at the White House had anything to do with Obama and George’s mutual interest in Brazil’s state controlled oil company do you? Heavens-to-Betsy, no! Obama is a “new kind of politician,” right!? Wrong! Obama’s just as greasy as the rest of the power hungry elitist freaks running our country! Rather than allowing our own country to drill for oil, which would create thousands of jobs, increase tax revenue, and decrease our dependency on foreign oil, Obama prefers to give those jobs and billions of dollars to another country. This way, not only does it achieve the butt-kissing necessary to make Brazil “like the U.S more,” but; more importantly, he can make ‘Captain of the Left, Sir Grease Ball Billionaire,’ George Soros richer, the United States capitalist system weaker, and the George Soros funded leftist organizations (CAP, MoveOn.org, ACT) more powerful!! Oh yeah, I totally get it now…that’s “change I can believe in.” http://hotair.com/archives/2009/08/18/good-news-obama-backs-off-shore-drilling/
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: ACT, Big-Oil, billionaire, capitalist, dirty politicians, drill baby drill, drill for oil in Brazil, funny politics, george soros, hypocrisy, Liberal, moveon.org, obama, Petrobas, recent visitors to White House, Soros, taxpayer, The Daily Zing, U.S. politics, white house | 2 Comments »
The old saying- “God made some guys perfect, and the rest he gave hair” statement sure as Hell doesn’t make sense when you’re talking about ‘not so Harry Knox’ (a member of Obama’s faith-based advisory council). This creepy little shiny domed, extra terrestrial, freak must have lost his brains with his hair. Harry claims that the Pope is “hurting people in the name of Jesus” because he doesn’t support the use of condoms as a successful means to reducing the spread of HIV in Africa… Hey Harry, your new nickname is ‘Airy Harry’ because you’re freakin’ brainless! All you’ve got is air in that bald, E.T. looking, dome of yours! Get a clue, ya goon! Of course the Pope is against condoms as a method of preventing HIV in Africa; however, he’s surely for a method that would actually rid Africa of HIV for good. It’s called abstinence, dork-face! Furthermore, the TDZ has also come up with a cure for HIV in Africa…it’s called the ‘Scary Airy Harry Method’ and all it consists of is that all men carry around a 3×5 photo in their back pocket of the extra terrestrial, ‘Airy Harry.’ Anytime they’re approached for a little ‘luvin’,’ they just flash that card at the person and they’ll be safe forever!! President Obama, “phone home,” denounce religious bigotry, and fire this anti-catholic, extra terrestrial!!
