The Tea Party Algorithm

February 9, 2010 | Posted by TDZ

For the everyday Americans watching the main stream news, they must think the “Tea Party Movement” is some type of unsolved algorithm that could rid the universe of cancer. Every single day one hears news anchors asking- “who is behind the ‘Tea Party Movement?’” Is there any basis to these “primarily white, middle class, ultra right and confused Americans?” Are these just “well heeled scoundrels and demagogues being strenuously advertised by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News?” “Who is at the head of the Tea Party Movement and does their message have any traction?” Well, you elitist, out-of-touch, goons in the media, allow me to assist you! (This advice also goes for you creepy leftist bloggers sitting in your underpants in your parent’s dark basement with your little Macintosh Notebook on your lap as you look up scholarly words for your next blog post!) The fact that you don’t understand the “Tea Party Movement” is precisely why your ratings blow!! You’re out of touch with the everyday Americans. Americans that are sick and tired of elitist punks in Washington believing their prestigious Ivy League diploma provides them with a ticket to tell the rest of us how we should, or should not, live our lives. The “Tea Party Movement” is simple. We want 5 things: less government control and entitlement programs, lower taxes, no rewarding “too big to fail” corporations with so called “bail-outs,” honesty from our elected officials, and fiscal discipline…you know, spending less than you actually make! Oh my goodness! Get out of here! That’s what the “Tea Party Movement” wants? What a bunch of white, redneck and ignorant racists! They want honesty, accountability, and fiscal discipline? What a bunch of right wing conspiracy theorist demagogues!! No, you elitist idiots, it’s just called the everyday beliefs of everyday Americans….or as you prefer… “Teabaggers.” Nice try though, you creepy basement bloggers and main stream media elites!  Looks like you solved this “Tea Party Algorithm” about as well as that latest multi-level marketing algorithm predicted the stock market crash of 2008.  Next up tonight- What’s behind the Scott Brown surprise victory…….

Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: Americans, fox news, funny politics, Main Stream Media, middle class, obama, Political Satire, Politics, redneck, rupert murdoch, Tea Party Movement, teabaggers, The Daily Zing, Washington D.C., white house, zing | 4 Comments »

Car Salesman of the Year Address

January 28, 2010 | Posted by TDZ

CLICK & WATCH 30 SECOND VIDEO FIRST…THEN READ ON

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IStY4-qPO5A

Like the tireless, Top Gun car salesman featured in the video, The Chosen One, last night in his State of the Union (State of the ‘Goonion’) Address, did his best to sell America, but he wasn’t just trying to sell a car that looked pretty on the outside and was really a broken down piece of junk.  He was trying to sell his leftist ideas and policies that are appealing from the outside, but deep down in the core (engine), plain and simply, suck!  You know, the same leftist policies full of that “hope” and “change” rubbish that he promised during his run for president, and his first year in office… no more poverty, no more racism, no more going bankrupt from health care costs, many more high paying jobs (green of course), no more coal plants, no more Gitmo, open health care debate & bipartisan reform, no more earmarks, no more tax increases on the middle class, no more lobbyists making policies, and on & on & on…  Yeah, at the time, all of those promises being spewed out of Obama’s mouth sounded just as good as that newly shined used car looked before you bought it, but, unfortunately, the actual policies put in place by the inexperienced progressive turned out even worse than the purchase of that piece of junk car.  Since this car salesman of a president took office… there’s more poverty, just as much racism, just as much bankruptcy from health care costs, less high paying  jobs (profits are evil…I guess one doesn’t start a business with the intent to make a profit according this wack administration), no open health care debates or bipartisan reform, 8,000 times more earmarks than promised(and it’s only been one year), higher taxes on the middle class are being proposed, there are still the same number of coal plants (thank goodness, or else we all would have melted from all this current global warming), and of course, he’s hired at least a dozen lobbyists, and “Club Gitmo” is still open!  Obama, sorry to say it, but you’re like a baby Robin, all mouth and full of shiz, all talk and no walk, or in the words of Joe Wilson, a liar!!!

Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: bipartisan, coal plants, democrat, earmarks, global warming, health care debate, jobs, Liar, lies, middle class, obama, Politicians, President Obama, republican, Scandals, SOTU, State of the Union, taxes, The Daily Zing, U.S. employment, USA | 3 Comments »