February 26, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
The old saying- “God made some guys perfect, and the rest he gave hair” statement sure as Hell doesn’t make sense when you’re talking about ‘not so Harry Knox’ (a member of Obama’s faith-based advisory council). This creepy little shiny domed, extra terrestrial, freak must have lost his brains with his hair. Harry claims that the Pope is “hurting people in the name of Jesus” because he doesn’t support the use of condoms as a successful means to reducing the spread of HIV in Africa… Hey Harry, your new nickname is ‘Airy Harry’ because you’re freakin’ brainless! All you’ve got is air in that bald, E.T. looking, dome of yours! Get a clue, ya goon! Of course the Pope is against condoms as a method of preventing HIV in Africa; however, he’s surely for a method that would actually rid Africa of HIV for good. It’s called abstinence, dork-face! Furthermore, the TDZ has also come up with a cure for HIV in Africa…it’s called the ‘Scary Airy Harry Method’ and all it consists of is that all men carry around a 3×5 photo in their back pocket of the extra terrestrial, ‘Airy Harry.’ Anytime they’re approached for a little ‘luvin’,’ they just flash that card at the person and they’ll be safe forever!! President Obama, “phone home,” denounce religious bigotry, and fire this anti-catholic, extra terrestrial!!
Categories: Creations and Comb-Overs | 
Tags: bigot, Catholic, funny politics, Harry Knox, left wing, Liberal, obama, Obama's faith based advisory council, Pope, right wing, satire, white house | 
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February 23, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
Harry, the creepy, soft-talking, grease-ball is at it again! This time he made a threat to his fellow Nevadans. How did he threaten them? Well, ‘Scary Harry,’ while talking about the highly saturated domestic crisis shelters in his home state, said – “Men, when they’re out of work, tend to become abusive. . .” So let me get this right Harry, you creepy goon…what you’re saying is that next November if you’re not reelected you’re going to become abusive? Because you’re surely going to be out of a job for none other than being abusive, not to your wife though, rather to your fellow republican senators, the American people, and your constituents! You better get a good marriage therapist now, you’re going to need one next November, butt-face-Reid!!
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: domestic abuse, Funny, Harry Reid, Liberal, Nevada shelter, obama, Politics, republican, Senate, The Daily Zing, Voters, white house | 1 Comment »
February 18, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
In the land of ‘Obama-topia,’ this year’s stimulus season was a rough one for all those rookies in the White House. On this first annual celebration of the passing of that dandy $787 billion (which is now estimated to cost us $75 billion more than projected) dollar economy saving, job creating, masterpiece, we only saw it fit to join CNN and throw a party (yes, CNN really did have a birthday cake to mark the one year anniversary of the stimulus bill…just curious, I wonder if that was the same day they had their lowest ratings in over 4 years…). But our party is more of a ‘facial-fact-fest,’ if you will… The problem is that the facials were delivered directly to the nose of the American people like a high & inside wild fast ball thrown by a rookie. Those rookie goons in the White House promised before the stimulus was passed that unemployment would not exceed 8% if the bill was passed… well, that didn’t take long to prove that one wrong! Unemployment is now at 9.7%. In our face! Thank you hope and change! Those rookie morons also promised that their stimulus would create 3.5 million jobs… There are actually 2.8 million less jobs now than when the stimulus bill was passed…in our face part deux! Wait, you thought the White House said they “created or saved” 2 million jobs from the stimulus bill, right? Well, apparently, these rookie goons, with their Ivy League degrees, are so smart they’re stupid!!! When you claim to have created 2 million jobs, yet there are actually 2.8 million less jobs…that’s called ‘lack of addition skills dot idiot dot gov dot White House!’ Furthermore, those jobs were promised to be “shovel ready jobs” too. Weird how that works, out of the $862 billion dollar bill, only 5% is designated for “shovel ready jobs.” Hmmm…. How does that work again? Well, if a lot of “shovel ready jobs” are created from quick spending, it will save the economy…right Mr. President? Wrong! You see, the stimulus bill was actually set up in a way where more money will be spent between the years 2011 and 2019 than in 2009…In our face part ‘tres!’ And if these facts aren’t enough to convince you our President and his Administration are wack and in over their heads, the recent Gallup poll will help you come to your senses…despite what diarrhea mouth Olbermann & company will tell you! The poll states that only 6% of Americans believe the stimulus bill worked…. Can you say “in our face part four!?” The numbers never lie! Unless the numbers are coming from a greasy politician! So, as for the “Rookie of the Year” in the land of ‘Obama-topia,’ as much as Creepy Chrissy Mathews would like us to award it to “O,” the yearly stats show that Unemployment unanimously deserves the award! Coming in at nearly 10% and closer to 17% if you count the people no longer looking for jobs. Don’t you just love those liberal policies full of all that “hope” and “change?” Barf!!!!!!!!
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: billions, obama, Politics, rookie of the year, Stimulus, white house | No Comments »
February 12, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
“I’d like
Chrissy Matthews, host of Wiffle ball, right here tonight. I want him brought from his nutty ‘MSLSD’ studio over there on Elitist Lane, with all the other loony Libs, and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his wind blown comb-over dome. And, I want to look him straight in the eyes and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor-flushing,
creepy, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred,
overstuffed,
ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*ss, bug-eyed,
tingle-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey sh*t he is! Hallelujah! Holly Sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?” — National Lampoon’s Washington D.C. Vacation.
Categories: Creations and Comb-Overs | Tags: chris matthews, comb-over, creation, Elitist, fox news, hair piece, Hard Ball, msnbc, obama, Political Satire, politician comb-overs, Politics, tea party, The Daily Zing | 1 Comment »
February 9, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
For the everyday Americans watching the main stream news, they must think the “Tea Party Movement” is some type of unsolved algorithm that could rid the universe of cancer. Every single day one hears news anchors asking- “who is behind the ‘Tea Party Movement?’” Is there any basis to these “primarily white, middle class, ultra right and confused Americans?” Are these just “well heeled scoundrels and demagogues being strenuously advertised by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News?” “Who is at the head of the Tea Party Movement and does their message have any traction?” Well, you elitist, out-of-touch, goons in the media, allow me to assist you! (This advice also goes for you creepy leftist bloggers sitting in your underpants in your parent’s dark basement with your little Macintosh Notebook on your lap as you look up scholarly words for your next blog post!) The fact that you don’t understand the “Tea Party Movement” is precisely why your ratings blow!! You’re out of touch with the everyday Americans. Americans that are sick and tired of elitist punks in Washington believing their prestigious Ivy League diploma provides them with a ticket to tell the rest of us how we should, or should not, live our lives. The “Tea Party Movement” is simple. We want 5 things: less government control and entitlement programs, lower taxes, no rewarding “too big to fail” corporations with so called “bail-outs,” honesty from our elected officials, and fiscal discipline…you know, spending less than you actually make! Oh my goodness! Get out of here! That’s what the “Tea Party Movement” wants? What a bunch of white, redneck and ignorant racists! They want honesty, accountability, and fiscal discipline? What a bunch of right wing conspiracy theorist demagogues!! No, you elitist idiots, it’s just called the everyday beliefs of everyday Americans….or as you prefer… “Teabaggers.” Nice try though, you creepy basement bloggers and main stream media elites! Looks like you solved this “Tea Party Algorithm” about as well as that latest multi-level marketing algorithm predicted the stock market crash of 2008. Next up tonight- What’s behind the Scott Brown surprise victory…….
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: Americans, fox news, funny politics, Main Stream Media, middle class, obama, Political Satire, Politics, redneck, rupert murdoch, Tea Party Movement, teabaggers, The Daily Zing, Washington D.C., white house, zing | 4 Comments »
The old saying- “God made some guys perfect, and the rest he gave hair” statement sure as Hell doesn’t make sense when you’re talking about ‘not so Harry Knox’ (a member of Obama’s faith-based advisory council). This creepy little shiny domed, extra terrestrial, freak must have lost his brains with his hair. Harry claims that the Pope is “hurting people in the name of Jesus” because he doesn’t support the use of condoms as a successful means to reducing the spread of HIV in Africa… Hey Harry, your new nickname is ‘Airy Harry’ because you’re freakin’ brainless! All you’ve got is air in that bald, E.T. looking, dome of yours! Get a clue, ya goon! Of course the Pope is against condoms as a method of preventing HIV in Africa; however, he’s surely for a method that would actually rid Africa of HIV for good. It’s called abstinence, dork-face! Furthermore, the TDZ has also come up with a cure for HIV in Africa…it’s called the ‘Scary Airy Harry Method’ and all it consists of is that all men carry around a 3×5 photo in their back pocket of the extra terrestrial, ‘Airy Harry.’ Anytime they’re approached for a little ‘luvin’,’ they just flash that card at the person and they’ll be safe forever!! President Obama, “phone home,” denounce religious bigotry, and fire this anti-catholic, extra terrestrial!!
