December 31, 2009 | Posted by TDZ
TDZ sources intercepted an email that had a list of New Year Resolutions from the top 3 commentators at MSNBC. Take a look at what we found!
Chris Mathews said:
“I would just like to repeat the year 2008 over again…it brought me a constant tingle & thrill up my leg…I just..uh…I love the intellect and literacy of President Obama and every time I think of him I just get happy…Barack’s just like a mortal gift from God. That 2008 year was the greatest year in my life! Also, I intend to do everything in my power to make sure this President succeeds…even if it requires calling West Point and other military academies the ‘Enemy Camp’…it’s my duty to my President and country! Oh, and I’m going to get a new Obama figurine for my shrine.”
Keith Olbermann said:
“Well…after I lose 54 pounds…I intend to bring forth some extremely worthy causes in 2010. I will continue commentating during the Sunday Night NFL Pre-game Show, forcing viewers to put there t.v on mute…you see…I know that this hurts the network ratings and as a result it hurts the pocket books of those rich white republican NFL owners that overwhelmingly support & donate to the Republican Party…Hahaha! I’ll show them! Also, I will continue to nominate Bill O’Reilly the ‘Worst Person in the World’ because he’s definitely worse than Usama Bin Laden or any other murderer, rapist or terrorist out there…it’s just a fluke that he keeps getting 3 million more viewers a night on his show than I get on mine. But mostly, I hope to get a handle on my diarrhea disorder. I hate wearing depends!”
Rachel Maddow said:
“Damn it! I intend to start exercising harder and dressing better so that more women…and men for that matter…start obsessing more over me than that tea-bagging redneck Sarah Palin! Every time I mention Sarah’s name to my girlfriends…their jaws drop…I’ve had enough! Speaking of tea-baggers…I’m going to continue sending journalists to Palin’s book signings to interview the massively large crowds of hillbillies…I’m going to capture one of them on film saying something really ignorant and just keep playing it over and over to make Palin look like an idiot…and to paint her fans as racist & ignorant country folk. I’ll show those white-teabagging-rednecks and their Queen Tea-bagger, Sarah, that just because she can sell millions of books, does not mean that people really like her! And if one more person confuses me for Daneil Radcliffe (Harry Potter), or Katie Lang, I’m going to freak-out!!” (Seriously, you must click here to see the resemblance)
Yeah, folks, we couldn’t believe it either when we came across this email…but we’ll be honest…this information is just as valid as Sir Albert Gore Jr’s statistics on Global Warming! The TDZ crew would like to wish you fellow Cyber-Warriors-of-Zing a Happy New Year! May God bless you and your families…AND our country…throughout this new year! Strength & honor!
Categories: Daily Zings | 
Tags: 2010, Chris Mathews, daneil radcliffe, happy new year, keith olbermann, msnbc, rachel maddow, thrill up my leg | 
2 Comments »
November 19, 2009 | Posted by TDZ
This week of news was saturated with “drops.” Lindsey Graham’s gonads finally dropped when he questioned Eric Holder on his reasoning for bringing the KSM trial to NYC.
The new construction report for October showed that housing starts dropped by 10.6%, that is unless you live in Arizona’s “15th District,” right Uncle Biden?
The earth’s “fever” continued to drop, despite “Captain Universe Gore” releasing another mythological book on global warming.
Hollywood’s jaw dropped when Clint Eastwood back-handed America for its current “juvenile” behavior of acting like a bunch of “teenage twits” during this recession, as he said in his GQ Magazine interview.
Congressman William Jefferson’s Louisiana home started dropping dollar bills when he was sentenced to 13 years in prison. According to TDZ sources, the fed’s unplugged his freezer at his home and when they opened the freezer-door tinfoil wrapped dollar bills went everywhere.
The nation’s will was dropped when Attorney General Holder ordered the 911 terrorists to be tried in a civilian court, despite a 65% majority of the nation wanting them to be tried in a military court.
The Associated Press’s “lower 40” staff dropped in numbers when they sent 11 reporters to Alaska to ‘debunk’ Palin’s new book, “Going Rogue.”
Rachel Maddow’s faux-marbles dropped when she saw how many copies of “Going Rogue” had already been sold.
Lou Dobbs was dropped from the CNN posse because he refused to bow to Obama.
Speaking of bowing, last but not least, Obama’s head & torso dropped when he got ‘low-low-low’ for the emperor of Japan. Perhaps we could start calling him President O-bow-ma…
And of course, these folks dropped as well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7R5kA5cNy0&feature=related
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: Al Gore, attorney general, bow to emperor, clint eastwood, cnn, eric holder, gq magazine, japan, ksm, lindsey grahm, Lou dobbs, obama, palin, rachel maddow, william jefferson | 2 Comments »
November 17, 2009 | Posted by TDZ
Rush Limbaugh coined the term correctly when he called these guys- “The Drive-By Media.”
Rush draws the comparison between the scandal seeking, agenda driven and half truth spewing media (who cover a story with a barrage of unfair cheap shots before moving on to the next flavor of the month) and a gang that drives by and sprays a target with gunfire and then moves on to their next target.
Click the image above & enjoy the zing. A special thanks goes out to Marty & Doc for traveling to the future to assist us with this ‘drive-by-zing!’
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: andrea mitchell, arianna huffington, back to the future, Charlie gibson, Chris Mathews, david gregory, drive by media, helen thomas, Katie couric, rachel maddow | 1 Comment »
November 16, 2009 | Posted by TDZ
What are these guys thinking? They have to know what the term “teabagging” means. Here is a link if you do not know its meaning. (Not suitable for children) So if these lib’s think we’re “teabaggers”, who then do they think we’re “teabagging?” We’re teabagging them obviously! Higher taxes, teabag! Government run health care, teabag! Cap and Trade, teabag! I know Clinton knows what teabagging is, he made it presidential, just ask Monica. Keith Olberman knows what it is also, just ask Chris Matthews. As for David Shuster and Maddow, I don’t even know who these two dudes are, but I can see why they work for MSNBC. Janeane Gara…Garof… oh it doesn’t matter, you wouldn’t know who she is anyway. I don’t know why they enjoy emasculating themselves like this, but then again, I don’t understand why lib’s do half of the things they do. So, you self proclaimed comedian lib’s, keep calling us teabaggers, but just remember, you’re the ones getting teabagged!
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: anderson cooper, bill, bill clinton, chris matthews, david shuster, Harry Reid, janeane garofalo, jon stewart, keith olbermann, maher, Nancy Pelosi, obama, rachel maddow, tea bagger, tea bagging, tea party | 17 Comments »
TDZ sources intercepted an email that had a list of New Year Resolutions from the top 3 commentators at MSNBC. Take a look at what we found!
