May 27, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
“Barack Obama doesn’t like black people.” -Kanye West….Oh wait, Kanye said- “George Bush doesn’t like black people,” that’s right…I forgot! Well, the TDZ has a new quote for you: “Barack Obama hates sea life and fishermen and loves big oil!”
During the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, Kanye, and the rest of the ‘Hollywierd” goons, claimed President Bush was a racist and magically manipulated Mother Nature’s winds to create a Hurricane that would destroy New Orleans and all the black people that resided there.
Yep, Bush manipulated the winds and Cheney strapped on his scuba gear and planted bombs at the bottom of the levies so that they could wipe out New Orleans’ black population.
Can you say “go-go-gadget stretch?” So, since Sir, Say-it-Through-the-Wire, Kanyeezy decided to go on a couple personal vacations instead of holding fundraisers for sea life cleanup and fishermen who are out of jobs, we decided we, the TDZ, would play the role of the ‘lame-stream-leftist media’ and create our own Bush-Cheney-esk conspiracy about Obama & big oil.
It goes like this: President Obama infiltrated the pipeline explosion by sending an undercover Haliburton operative to plant the bomb. This of course was done due to the pressure he was receiving from the weirdo go-green freaks that were pissed at him for recently signing a bill that would permit additional offshore oil exploration. By causing this disaster Obama was successful in four ways: one, he has damaged the U.S.’s future likelihood of off shore oil drilling. Two, he’s taking out all the non-governmental capitalist businesses on the Gulf Coast that rely on fish, beaches, and travel. Three, due to the lack of oil supplies the government will be forced to raise the gas tax to create alternative sources of energy.
And four, because Obama truly hates fish life and fishermen! Right, Kanyeezy? Oh, and one more little thing….because Obama happens to be the top recipient of BP political donations!
Categories: Daily Zings | 
Tags: BP and Obama, BP oil spill, bush and katrina, holly wood activists, kanye west on oil spill, obama, oil spill, Politics, The Daily Zing, white house | 
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May 9, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
‘Helluva’ weekend! The zings were flying every which way! And don’t you worry environment lovers, these zings were 100% natural…they occurred on their own. And “On the strength,” our three favorites are the following:
1- Desired Dictator Danny, the Hugo Chavez Loving Fool, Glover was booed during the flag ceremony at the Utah State University Commencement Address. Right on, right on! USU, way to let that goon know that his demonization of American politics is not welcome and his lack of love for our country and its flag can be better expressed in Venezuela… Best of all though, Utah State University really zung him again when they awarded him the honorary degree of “Doctor of Humane Letters.” ?????? Can you say….stretch!?
2- Over in the great state of Pennsylvania, ‘Benedict Arlen’ (Arlen Specter) was passed up by his Democratic challenger in the Real Clear Politics Poll for United States Senator. You know that’s bad when not even the Dem’s like you… Sorry ‘Benedict Arlen,’ I guess you need to “act like a lady…act, act, act like a lady.”
3- Back to the wonderful red state of Utah. The state delegates sent a message to the David Brooks Republicans out there that mediocre conservatism is not welcome! We, the true conservatives, are looking for conservative leaders with back bone! The state delegates voted out Senator Bob Bennett who did do some great things in his long career in politics; however, voting for TARP, the stimulus, and not being real firm on illegal immigration is not wanted. If you’re not going to represent your constituents, you’re outty-five-thousand, brotha!
‘Helluva’ weekend! To top it all off, we, the brothers of the Daily Zing, married off one of our fellow zingers! Hurry up ladies! There’s only two of us now!!
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: Benedict Arlen, Danny Glover booed, political zings, Senator Bennett out, take back our country, The Daily Zing, true conservatism, White House zings | No Comments »
April 26, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
One of the TDZ’s very own will be getting married on May 8th, so the TDZ Crew and friends went to Las Vegas this weekend to have a Bachelor Party. Let’s just say it was an epic weekend, but we came across something weird.
On our return from Las Vegas we needed some food to recharge the batteries so we stopped at Costco to get a pizza. While waiting for our pizza we came across the ultimate Lib-goon.
By the way, why is that Liberals love to make a statement with their clothing? They love to dress all weird so that everyone knows they’re liberals. Picking a liberal out of a crowd is as easy as finding broken Obama promises.
This Lib-goon at Costco was rockin’ dark brown corduroy Daisy Duke shorts, a bright green tank top (because he was so “green”), hemp woven ‘mandals,’ and he had a beaded-woven ‘murse’ (male purse). Of course his partner had a matching outfit, except it was orange. Can you say “weirdo?”
Oh, and don’t worry, when we left the parking lot we saw them and they, of course, were driving a Subaru Hatchback with bumper stickers that in their mind’s eye are going to single handily save the universe from hunger, war and global warming.
Liberals! 100% of the time they’re always goons! =)
Categories: Daily Zings | Tags: liberal politics, liberals, Liberals and Subaru Hatchbacks, Liberals are goons, mandals, murse, The Daily Zing | 1 Comment »
March 19, 2010 | Posted by TDZ
“Let if flow, Let yourself go, Slow and low, That is the tempo.” I’ll bet you never knew the Beastie Boys wrote those lyrics to describe Cass Sunstein’s hair-follicle-flow? Cass, of course, is the Head of the White House Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs (O.I.R.A.). His ‘Cass-flow-comb-over’ was convincing enough to win over his fellow hair follicle magicians on the Left to nominate him as the head of O.I.R.A.
More importantly though, Sir ‘Cass-flow-comb-over’s’ hair is symbolic of his brains. . .In that he only has half of one. But you wouldn’t think that in talking to his left-wing supporters, they say he’s “extremely intellectual,” “he’s a constitutional genius,” “he’s so smart that he’s dumb!” OK, we said the last one, but you get the point!
This guy’s another one of those butt-hurt, butt-nuggets that thinks he’s so “gifted” and “intelligent” that he’s “wiser” than our founding fathers. . .Cass seems to think our first amendment right of freedom of speech needs to be changed because- “like-minded people speak or listen mostly to one another.” No shiz, Sherlock! Why in tar-nation would we want to listen, take advice or trust a dude with the level of ‘hair-follicle-funktitude’ that you have!? Seriously, when was the last time you looked in the mirror? The real reason he hates freedom of speech is because he, and the rest of the loony Lib’s, despise the success of conservative talk radio, conservative cable news, and conservative websites. You can’t fool us, “Sir Ivy League!”
And if you’re still not convinced that this guy’s a goon, well, this will change your mind. ‘Cass-stain’ believes “we should celebrate tax day.” Tell you what Cass, you should celebrate a ’stop-forcing-my-hair-follicle day’ and get that wack, fibery-flow buzzed off your dome!! You look like a goon, you act like a goon, you are a philosophical goon, and you are just plain and simply a- skinny, little, creepy, comb-over enhanced, liberal, G to the O-squared, N!!!!!!!!!!!
Categories: Creations and Comb-Overs | Tags: Cass Sunstein, liberal politicians, Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs, OIRA, political humor, The Daily Zing, white house | 1 Comment »
